So Lucie calls me today (=yesterday) and she’s all, "Hey Eda I thought you said you were going to start blogging again!  But I come back every day, day after day, and there’s nothing!  So what’s the deal, are you going to blog or what?" Bleh.  I’m a fat liar, I know.

I’m not really feelin’ it.  I keep getting all upset (as I’ve mentioned repeatedly) that record reviewers want to pull stuff off my blog and put it into their blurbs.  And they always want to use the stuff about my love life, of course.  Which I don’t even talk about hardly at all!  I mean, when Eric and I first started dating last year, I did do one little heartfelt thing about that.  It was corny but sweet.  And when we broke up I stated that fact, just to avoid confusion.  But I never talked about the bad times if there were any… or afterward either, I never talked about the reasons we broke up.  I just waited until the decision was final and said so, without giving details.  I did phrase it a certain way, I said "I broke up with Eric", but I didn’t say which one of us pushed it over the top, if indeed that was the case.  I told the truth that I wanted to tell, which is that he’s a fucking amazing guy and I love him to death and I hope that’ll never change.  Or words to that effect.  And I sure as hell never said that THIS record had anything to do with that relationship; if it does that’s for me to know!  But do the math, the album was released like two weeks after the breakup.  You really think I’d be capable of writing about THAT breakup, then organizing, recording, getting the artwork together and getting it released in the span of two weeks?  Well, that one paragraph about the breakup has now been cut up and reprinted all over the place, as if it explains the whole album.  It’s damn annoying.

Yeah I know, maybe it’s stupid to get upset when the fact is they’re doing me a favor by helping to publicize my work… but still it makes me want to quit blogging.  I’m not saying that to be a drama queen, and I’m not saying I’m quitting.  Just that it makes me want to quit, in order to force them to talk about the music.  God forbid they should have to think of something to say about that! I really think if I were male instead of female, they wouldn’t be grabbing for that angle.  How many reviews of male songwriters have you seen that refer to the artist’s love life, seriously?  Guys write love songs too, they write songs about heartbreak and breakups and all the same stuff I’m talking about.  But they’re just being creative aren’t they?  Whereas when a woman does it, I guess she’s only relaying what happened between her and some guy… i.e. whatever she writes is in the guy’s control.  It’s not fair.  Waaah.  Poor me.  Poor, poor me!!

Yeah, boo fucking hoo.  That’s what the other side of me thinks, the side of me that says fuck it, I’ll write what I want to write!  Meh.  Well, I think the decision I’ve made is that I will simply never talk about my relationships again here.  That’s the part that always ends up haunting me, so that’s the part I’m gonna cut out, save it for my songs.  If I’m dating somebody I’m not gonna mention it unless we’re getting married or something, and I wouldn’t advise holding your breath for that!  I will talk about things I’m doing with my friends — yes, like Eric, who is in fact my very dear friend thank you very much.  But if I’ve met someone new and there’s romance a-brewin’, you’re not going to find out about it it by reading this blog, you’re going to have to actually talk to me.  I’ll tell you whatever you want to know if you’re a friend.  Off the record.

Okay, rant over!  Back to blogging about stuff that nobody cares about but me.  :-)

Went with Eric to see Iron and Wine and Calexico play last night (=Sunday).  It was so cool to see everybody again, and to get to relax and enjoy the show with no responsibilities of my own.  The music was sooo beautiful, it made me cry a couple of times!  No, not bawling on Eric’s shoulder, ha ha.  Teary-eyed.  The first time was when Salvador Duran was playing his solo tunes in Spanish, a couple of those really got to me.  Then later when Sam and Sara were doing "Southern Anthem", which is just about the best song ever written IMO, that started up the waterworks again.  But in a good way.  I don’t even know the words, there’s just something about that melody I guess.  I just listened to the original recording of that, off Iron and Wine’s first album — you can hear it on his MySpace if you’re not familiar with it.  The recording is a little different from the live version I’m used to.  The tempo seems faster, and although the same melodies and harmonies are all there, it just doesn’t hit me the same way.  I guess he’s played it often enough that he really knows how to sell it at this point.  It just kills me, that song.  I wish to hell I’d written it myself, but then maybe I wouldn’t enjoy it so much.

Salvador Duran is the flamenco singer who did a little cameo turn on In the Reins… what an amazing guy, I’m so glad I got to meet him.  The first thing I told him was, "you made me cry!" This was afterwards, in the green room.  Well, he got up off the couch with his arms open and the most amazing sympathetic look in his eyes.  Like, "come here my child, I feel your pain and we shall transcend it with this embrace!!" How can you not immediately love a guy like that?  But then, I’m not entirely sure he knew what I was saying, heheh.  Once we started talking in Spanish it was a whooole lot easier to have a normal conversation with him.  I don’t know anything about him whatsoever other than seeing him perform right then, but you can just tell he’s a real gem, both with the music he’s making and as a person.  I hope I see him again but if not, I’m really glad we had that one funny little moment.  :-)

Last week I went over to North Branch and did a little vocal thing on a song Barry was working on for Holiday Music, a project of his which specializes in guess what?  Holiday music.  It’s him and Mark Greenberg, Pramod Tummala, Charles Kim, all the usual suspects and a few more.  The song I sang on ended up being played last Sunday on Hello Beautiful, on Chicago Public Radio… well, just a snippet at the end, but it was pretty cool.  I think you can even hear it online if you hurry.

Omigod, I just looked and you can download the whole song at Tight Ship!!  It’s just a rough mix, we’ll see what happens with it when it’s actually done.  It’s the one called "Hello Beautiful Holiday".  There’s actually going to be a live performance of this stuff this coming Sunday but I haven’t really decided yet if I’m going/singing at that.  The urge to be a hermit is trying to overwhelm my spirit of showmanship, which is errr… underdeveloped at best, even when I am in full swing doing gigs and touring.  I really need to call Barry and get him to talk me into it.  I’m just so… I don’t know.  Maybe my holiday spirit is a little lacking this year, since I’m not going home to be with the folks.  Dammit I want to, but I have no money for traveling at the moment.  But at least I just visited there in October.  There’ve been lots of years when I haven’t gone there at all, so I’m very glad I had that.  Thanks to Lucie!  It was actually her Christmas present to me, that trip, so I should quit whinin’.  :-) And I really did get lots of good quality time with the folks.  Still, I’m not looking forward to my meal from Golden Angel this Christmas.  It’ll just be another day, other than the phone calls.  POOR, POOR EDITH!!  Ha ha.  It’ll be fine.