Last night was fun.  I wanted to go see Brother Danielson ‘cuz he’s my friend, but I couldn’t face the clusterfuck at the Bottle so I went to the Court & Spark / Manishevitz show instead.  Got all dolled up for it too, just for the hell of it… wore a dress and did my hair different, I looked hot.  Oo-wee baby!!  See, I don’t usually make the effort unless there’s just nothing better to do, heheh. Doing it to impress somebody would be pointless since I’d never be able to keep up the charade more than 24 hours.

I saw a few people I knew… John Stirratt showed up and gave me a big good-ta-see-ya hug, he is such a sweetheart.  Talked a lot with the Court & Spark guys too, and had a totally good laugh with all of them about the who-drank-edith’s-beer incident which occurred the last time I played in San Francisco in 2001 or whenever that was.  God… the story got repeated like fifty billion times, and I’m kinda sick of hearing it, but the short version is: my band had been gettin’ me all worked up over beer rights in the week preceding that show.  See, I’m not a big drinker, Miss Frost only requires one beer as Her Highness is going onstage and one beer afterwards.  Well, for a couple of nights in a row on that tour, by the time I had to go onstage, there was no beer left.  And I’m all… HEY GUYS, is there any way y’all can leave me at least ONE GODDAMN BEER?  Tee hee.  It kept happening, and it turned into this Thing, I think they were trying to get me a little riled up because it was kinda funny to see me get all up in a huff like that.  When you’re on the road, you get bored and you have to invent these gags to keep yourselves entertained, and because I’m so gullible and easy to fuck with, a lot of times I end up the victim of these silly pranks and running verbal gags which would be completely incomprehensible to anybody but us.

So anyway, I think it was the show in Seattle, the guy we stayed with fabricated me a little beer-box labeled "EDITH FROST BEER"… "NO TOUCHY-TOUCHY" etc. etc.  It was truly awesome, I was all lording it over them that NOW I had this virtually impenetrable little fortress with room to store my 2 beers, and anyone who dared to violate my beer-box would surely have to suffer my wrath.  Nobody could argue with that, it was hilarious and I thought I finally had my comeuppance.  SO… the night of the show with the Court & Spark, we were sharing a dressing room with those guys.  My beer-box was in the fridge and umm, we hadn’t exactly explained the whole backstory to them.  And unfortunately for them, while I was downstairs someone did in fact remove and drink the two Edith Frost Brand beers.  And I saw this later on and was all… OH MY FUCKING GOD, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? WHY IS MY BOX EMPTY AND WHY IS THERE NO BEER LEFT AGGGGGAAAAAINNNN?!!!????!!!  I go to my bandmates, they all deny any culpability.  We came to the conclusion that someone in the C&S party MUST have been the culprit.  And I’m like, "I’m gonna go yell at them right now!!" My band is like, "Oh shit, I think Edith is actually pissed… uh oh!!  Edith, don’t do it, don’t do it… oh fuck there she goes… eeek!!" And I marched up to them all furious as they were setting up to play, and said "HEY… DID YOU GUYS DRINK MY BEER?  The beer that was in the box in the fridge that was labeled with MY FUCKING NAME?" And they’re lookin’ at me all baffled and shit and said, No Miss Edith, we did not drink your beer, we swear we didn’t!  But I was all indignant and was not buyin’ that shit.  I knew that it was either them or someone in their party who’d done the dirty deed.  I just knew this, so I made an Executive Decision… I was gonna skewer those fuckers with comedy once I got onstage.  And I did, and it was really not very funny at all.  I do believe that was the first and only time I’ve ever called another band on the carpet during a show, unless you count the time in Toronto when I actually stopped my show for a second to go ask Big Jeezus Truck to shut the fuck up because they were making so much noise in the dressing room I couldn’t even hear myself think, much less play.

ANYWAY… I’ve felt very guilty about that ever since.  Poor guys had no idea about the hornet’s nest they’d be stirrin’ up if they touched the holy beer.  I didn’t really know who actually did it, it definitely could’ve been them, but I still felt bad because I’d left the club without laughing about it with them afterwards.  So last night, I knew I was gonna be seeing them and I was kinda dreading this because I knew I’d have to apologize for that and possibly buy a pitcher to hopefully make up for my bratty behavior that night three years ago.  I was truly remorseful about that.  But you know what, enough time has passed (more than 24 hours, ha ha) that NOW we can laugh about it.  It was great, I confessed the whole story, I apologized, I give ‘em all a big hug and say "I need to buy all you guys a beer for that shit…" and they’re all "Oh no no NOOO, it is WE who should be buying YOU the beers.  TWO beers!!" And the mystery was revealed: it was not any of THEM who drank it, but rather someone who had come into the dressing room with them.  So they hadn’t exactly been lying when they’d said they hadn’t drank it.  The intrigue was over, we talked and chortled over what a funny story it was, and we all went to a barbecue after the show (just a block south of my house), had some food, shot the shit and had a good ol’ time.  I was so happy about that, I didn’t want to keep walkin’ around with another band out there thinkin’ I’m a fuckin’ beer-hoggin’ bitch, you know?  Ahhhh.  I do feel a lot better now, heheh.  They are really nice guys, they put on a great show and I’m really glad I got to hang out with them.  :-)

So that’s the Beer Story and that’s the last time I wish to repeat it, thank you very much.  (grin) That was the SHORT version?  Hmm… upon re-reading it, it doesn’t really seem very funny at all, but… that’s how it is with comedy on the road.  It’s always a case of "Guess you had to be there…"

Tonight is the Jolie Holland show, I have an extra ticket and for the life of me I can’t find anyone to go with me to this. I’ll probably have to end up grabbing somebody out of line and forcing them to be my guest, what else can I do?  How can it be that a hot mama like myself can’t get a date to save her life?  Or even find a gal-pal who doesn’t already have plans?  I’ve been working on this for a month now and I cannot find a soul.  It’s pathetic, but oh well, I’ll only be throwin’ away ten bucks if I don’t use the ticket.  No big whoop.

(I am not asking any of my dear blog-readers, if that’s what you’re thinkin’… it needs to be somebody I’m already at least somewhat acquainted with in a real-life capacity. I am nothing if not careful, having been seriously phone-stalked once before, and pestered just a little too much by certain overenthusiastic fans who really really REALLY want to elbow their way into my personal life if they can — I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU, for God’s sake!  But that’s happened enough times that I really shy away from letting any superfans into my real life any more than I already do here on this blog.  Sorry folks, one bad apple spoils the whole bunch you know…)