• Every time someone calls me “ma’am” negates one instance of getting carded at 48. #
  • @bobblyjo Probably more my loss, I’m just party-poopin’, but what else is new. Who wants a drink? :-) #
  • @jennatar I’m both impressed and totally grossed out by your courage #
  • @jennatar So what’s the eventual plan? Surely this can’t go on forever… #
  • @jennatar I got “Caught Me a Squirrel” by Jon Wayne in my head, see… #
  • @jennatar You fattening him up? Throw him into the pot already! #
  • @tceraulo I’m always having to do the explanatory post-punchline. B/c my comedy’s so gold it’s BLINDING, people can’t even FATHOM it, man… #
  • @Phineas What happened, why all the pill-poppin’? :-( #
  • @tceraulo It was an attempted downer joke. I’m really bad at this. #
  • @tceraulo It was an attempted downer joke. I’m really bad at this. #
  • @tceraulo I keep wanting to tell you you’re one of my top fave tweeterers, but then I think “he’ll never believe me…” #
  • @tceraulo I keep wanting to tell you you’re one of my top fave tweeterers, but then I think “he’ll never believe me…” #
  • We were pals. God bless him for even considering going to prom with the likes of that weirdo kid me. OK I’ll stop tweeting about him. RIP. #
  • It was probably peer pressure from his friends, I bet. I was running around telling people I was gay, when in fact I was only a wannabegay. #
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