Torturing telemarketers
Wednesday July 2, 2003 – 10:38 pmThere’s a really funny poll going on over at Fark.com.
What’s your favorite prank to pull on telemarketers?
I used to get calls all the time from the local Policeman’s Benevolent Association. It was always a man with a very stern cop-like voice. I tried all sorts of replies, and he’d always do his best to bully me into a donation. One time he practically threatened me. Something along the lines of… "Ma’am, do you have a PROBLEM with police officers? Would you like to?" That got me so angry that I looked up the association’s name on the internet and found out that the calls were likely NOT coming from actual police officers, just hired telemarketers like all the rest. So the next time the call came I stopped the man in mid-sentence and asked "Sir, are you a police officer?" He stumbled on his words, and his hostile tone immediately wilted. He admitted that he was not an officer, and started reading a spiel full of legalese intended for dubious folks like me. I said "Thanks but no thanks" and hung up.
Guess it worked, ‘cuz I never heard from those guys again. :-D
I really don’t have a problem with cops in general; they’ve never harrassed me and have always come to my aid when I needed help. Deceitful telemarketers really bug me, but I mostly consider police to be the good guys. I’ll never forget the time in Austin when a pervert followed me home and tried to attack me. His attempt was thwarted by my boyfriend-at-the-time, and he bolted back to his car and drove away. But I got the guy’s license plate number and filed a police report. Went in to the station to see if I could identify him via a photo lineup. I didn’t pick the right guy. But the cop took pity on me and — get this!! — actually showed me the correct picture, TOLD me the guy’s name and that he worked at a certain gas station close to my house. I never went to that station again and that was that. Of course the cop had made me promise I would use the info only to protect myself and not to seek vengeance before he told me the man’s info. He trusted me, and probably broke the law by breaching the suspect’s confidentiality, but I’m forever grateful for that. Cops like that are MY HEROES.
July 3rd, 2003 at 4:40 am
When you’re being solicited by phone for charitable donations, you can ask them to mail you information on their organization, including how much of your donation goes to the stated cause of the organization and how much to "overhead." If they won’t do this, they’re not a legit organization. Of course, this means they’d get your mailing address in addition to your phone number. Can’t win them all.
July 3rd, 2003 at 7:03 pm
When I worked at a place that had more than one phone line I would sweetly say, "I’m sorry, can you hold on for one minute?" and then I’d put the telemarketers on hold. Five minutes later I’d check to see if they were still there and if they were I’d do it again. After 10 minutes they’re usually gone.
I hate when people like this (i.e. companies) waste my time. I know it’s a job, but….jeez!
July 4th, 2003 at 2:23 am
George — you don’t have to give them your address, you can ask the caller what percentage of their donations actually go to the charity, and they have to tell you. I think the rule of thumb is that no less than 75% should go to the charity if it’s a legitimate fundraiser. By law they have to give a minimum of 15% of donations to the charity, but no charity would hire an organization that only gives them 15%. So, these companies aren’t being hired, they’re going out and doing it on their own, and just giving the minimum amount required by law. There’s probably nothing the charities can do to stop them either.
Liz – that’s the best!! Usually I just take the high road and say… "I don’t take marketing calls at this number. Please put my number on your Do Not Call list for this charity, and put my number on the Do Not Call list for the entire company you work for as well." Because often these people work for places that try to get donations for hundreds of charities / credit cards / whatever, and if you ask to be put on the DNC list (without specifying which one) they’ll just put you on the one for the company they’re calling about. But then they’ll call you back about another "offer", and so on, and so on. What a scam!!