Wrapping up a bad bad day
Thursday August 12, 2004 – 8:59 pmHere are my observances for today. I’m a person who self-medicates: I formerly relied on three things to keep my moods from swinging too wildly in any direction. Cigarettes (nicotine), coffee & soda (caffeine) and pot (THC). Now I’ve removed #1 and #3 of those elements and well, you can see the results below. It ain’t pretty. Right now however, I don’t feel half bad, and I think that’s because I’m slightly sleepy and ready for bed; the caffeine has worn off. So I think one thing to keep in mind for tomorrow is: lay off the coffee and Diet Cokes if I can. Drink enough in the morning to keep myself from getting a migraine, but after that, drink juice, water, lemonade, herbal tea or whatever. Because without the pot and ciggies to tamp down the coffee crazies, I will go fuckin’ bonkers and want to smash stuff, it’s as simple as that. I know, it prolly seems obvious to any outsider, but I just realized this two minutes ago. DUHHH…!!!
August 13th, 2004 at 12:14 am
Methinks Richard’s onto something, Edith. And we all know that hell hath no fury like a cowgal trying to quit that mo’fo tobacco. Rant and rave all you need to.You know this IS the hardest thing you’ll ever do. Do whatever it takes to kill the cravings. And yeah, it’s fine to spew it all out right here, where nobody gets hurt. (It’s the best birhday present you could ever give yourself, look at it that way) And, really it’s much more about your health than the money you’ll save. Look at all the support you’re getting right here in all these comments. We all self-medficate on somethng or other. Why your doing this is an inspiration to others (like me) to get off my ass and change something that needs changing in my own bunch of addictions.
August 13th, 2004 at 7:12 am
Hey, I woke up and I don’t feel half bad!! WOOOT!! I don’t wanna say for sure but I think the worst is over. I’m having my coffee and I don’t *need* a smoke for the first time EVER since I came out of the WOMB (ha ha). I know it’s not over yet but damn, I am psyched!!! Also I’m pretty sure I was wrong about not being able to have caffeine at all after the morning coffee — I was going bonkers because of the withdrawal. I should watch it of course but I don’t think being hopped up on sugar and caffeine should be filling me with RAGE, see, that’s the lack of nicotine talkin’. SATAN!! heheh.
Oh, la la la, I feel better, yaaayyyyy…
August 13th, 2004 at 7:41 am
I’m so pleased! Just stay out of smoky bars. Those are tricky for a while. A true exercise in deprivation. If you *have* to go for some reason, my advice would be a to take a big ol’ wad of Nicorette with you.
August 13th, 2004 at 7:55 am
Yeah I’m gonna try to wait at least a few more days before I do that. And when I do go, I’ll try to line up an ESCORT who can talk me down on the spot, or take me by the ear and haul me outside if I start grabbing at people’s smokes. It’s important that I get past that hurdle ASAP — it doesn’t have to be "either be a musician or be a non-smoker". My mind is already made up about that so it shouldn’t be THAT hard to resist, but I’m a little nervous about keeping my resolve up.
August 13th, 2004 at 8:12 am
glad you’re feeling better! just in case, here’s the tabs and words to redd kross’ "linda blair" (need to change the third from last line).
http://tinyurl.com/5w29o
August 13th, 2004 at 8:14 am
oops that didn’t work. try tabcrawler.com instead.
August 13th, 2004 at 8:20 am
DAMN Scott! I’d have to change a lot more lines than that, hoo-wee!