HEY did y’all see my buddy Emmett Kelly playing guitar with Beth Orton tonight (=last night) on Letterman?  WOO-HOO!!  I TiVoe’d it.  Leroy Bach played too, he was on bass but Emmett got more face-time I think.  I’m so proud of that kid… I always tell him not to forget I taught him everything he knows.  (”How could I forget?" he sez.  Ha ha.) Oh, while I’m on a roll with the namedropping: I saw Glenn Kotche, my old drummer and now-member of Wilco, he was at Gary’s benefit show the other night with his beautiful wife Miiri.  I also requested that he not forget that I taught HIM everything HE knows too.  And he played right along with a big grin, rattling off all the reasons why that might actually kinda sorta not be a big fat lie… I mean, if it weren’t for me he might not have met a certain someone which led to him meeting another certain someone which catapulted him into joining Wilco etc. etc.  Oh fuck it, I know I’m just a teeny lil’ cog in a very big wheel but you know what?  I love those guys so much, I’m so proud of everything they’re accomplishing, it just thrills me to pieces.  And I like to joke about it, nothin’ wrong with that.  :-)

We had another rehearsal today, me and Jason and Ryan and Nathaniel.  I TOTALLY used Scott’s joke too, directed at the whole damn band… "LISTEN UP YA FUCKS!  No rolls, no fills, no parts, no solos.  When I do THIS you bring it down, when I do THIS you kick it up.  That’s it.  GOT IT?" Ha ha.  It was pretty funny.  Stealing jokes is the best I can do at eleven in the frickin’ morning.

We spent almost the whole rehearsal trying to play stump-the-guitarist, throwing all these older songs at Nathaniel just trying to trip him up.  But it can’t be done, the guy is unstumpable, it’s hilarious!  Man, I have really been blessed this past year with fantastic guitarists comin’ outta the woodwork, dudes!!  John Hasbrouck and Emmett Kelley on the record, and Via Nuon on the Manishevitz tour, and now Nathaniel.  I wish I could play with them all, all the time, but I just know I’m lucky to have ‘em, even part of the time.  As usual Ryan is the rock of the band… like if something doesn’t sound quite right, I will babble at them, make noises like what I’m imagining might sound better, wave my hands around to indicate some sort of rise and fall that should be happening.  They all look at me with big question marks over their heads.  Then Ryan translates what I was TRYING to say into regular English music-speak and they all go OHHHH okay, I get it!  Ha ha.  Thank god somebody can do it, I don’t even have a clue what I’m saying half the time.

Oh guess what happened tonight — another senior moment, bigtime, just like a few weeks ago when I couldn’t find the damn van.  I locked myself out of my stupid apartment!!!  Both of these events were one-time only, I have never done either one before in all my life as far as I can remember.  Tonight I was running out the door to meet Eric for a burrito, he’d just gotten back from a trip to NYC and we were going to jabber about it.  I was going to walk down there for the exercise (it’s about an hour’s walk) and I was fooling with my iPod, making sure it was charged up and running around trying to find my earbuds.  I get everything together, bolt out the door locking it behind me and bound down the stairs.  At the bottom of the stairs I feel around in my pockets and got that mini-heart attack feeling… OMFG NO NO NO!!  NO!!!  Oh god.  I did it, I left my keys, I have locked myself outta my own damn apartment. I stood there a second and started getting really worried.  I get out my pda-phone and start looking for the number of the janitor guy… the phone is showing "NO SERVICE" because I’m inside the building and the reception is crap.  Oh god, what am I gonna do, it’s fucking COLD out there!

About ten seconds later a lady comes in the door and I open it for her, saying "I locked myself out of my apartment!!" She goes up the stairs and turns around saying "Excuse me, what did you say?" "I left my keys in my apartment and locked the door, I’ve never done that in my whole life!!" Well, the woman turned around and came back down and proceed to gently guide me through the proper steps that my flustered self could not think of.  "Do you have the number for the janitor?" "Yes I do, it’s here but I can’t get a signal…" "Okay, go outside and I’ll wait and let you back in, it’s cold out there!" So I did, but I still couldn’t get a signal.  So the lady writes down the number and goes upstairs and calls him herself.  Comes back down and sez "He’ll be here in ten minutes.  Anything else, you okay?" I start babbling about how I’m supposed to meet my friend and I gotta call and tell him I’ll be late… so she stands there while I run to the corner where I finally did get a signal and left Eric a message.  Run back, and then she props the door open with a phone book that was sitting in the hallway.  That was all I needed, I was fine so she went upstairs with my THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU’s following her all the way.  I heave a big sigh and I hear her call down with one last bit of advice… "BREATHE!!!" Ha ha.

So yeah, maybe if I’d stood there a few more minutes I might’ve noticed the pile of phone books and maybe it would’ve occurred to me to USE them so I could’ve run to the corner to call the janitor without locking myself completely out of the building… but it sure made it easier to have a sensible person right there to prod me along and watch my back for a few minutes.  The janitor did arrive and unlocked my door for me quick as a wink, and to him I also said "THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU, I swear I’ve never done that before, but THANK YOU!!!" So I grabbed my keys and ran back outta there, and instead of walking I drove and arrived at the burrito place EXACTLY at 8pm, right when I was supposed to be there.  And stood outside the restaurant for a few minutes ‘cuz ERIC was late!  Funny.  I don’t see how that could’ve worked out any better, if I had to go pullin’ a hare-brained stunt like that.  WHEW!!!  So now, in addition to the sign on my door telling me WHERE THE FUCKING VAN IS, I will require yet another sign telling me DON’T FORGET THE KEYS!!!!  I don’t anticipate ever actually needing either of those reminders, after getting two scares in a row like that, but I’m not riskin’ it.  And I gave back to Eric my set of spare keys — the same set that I so dramatically took away from him when we broke up, ha ha.  I’m not above that, not when we’re great friends like we are and I know he’s around most of the time if it ever happens again at 2 in the morning or something and I can’t call the janitor.